baby crisis

i'm in the middle of a stressful week. haven't had enough sleep and eating too much trash. but there has been some amazing new characters around and joa is back.

he didnt come back all happy and excited to see me. but there was a somberness about him. but i was really happy when i saw the while silk scarf with cherry blossom embroidery he'd bought me from hangzhou. we had a major argument on the first night. he was too exhausted and i was having an anxiety attack. at 10pm, i dragged him out of bed to have dinner at the yunnan restaurant i'd planned on earlier.

we talked about it over dinner and made up. later that night, we made a most passionate sex. it's v unusual having sex with him. the emotional tension just blows me away.

i'm shy about my body without regularly exercise and symptoms of ageing. he looks absolutely fabulous - like an underwear model, i always tell him. and i get all nervous when he rubs my tummy or stares at my thighs. but in bed, i like to look at him, sink my tongue with his and feel him within. it's an amazing feeling.

i wish i had more time to catch up with him. but it's a bz week at his office and my agenda is full. i leave for shanghai early tomorrow and i just want to spend a quiet last night with him. i plan to phone order for macdonald's or a pizza so we can cosy up with a video.

i just want him to cheer up soon. it hurts me to see the loss of the sparkle in his eyes. i wish there was something else i could do.