@Sanlitun Apple Store

final night in beijing.

last day @ HighTeam

this is going to be the last time i'm posting an entry from my office on the 21st floor. i can still remember my first day being greeted by the magnificent view from the window where i sit. the past 6 months have been wonderful albeit short. passing grins from colleagues and hostility from some oddballs.

i've grown accustomed to the loud chattering going on in heavy-accented mandarin that i cannot understand 50% of the time, the gossips with the gals, and the privilege of coming in late and knocking off early everyday.

joa and i have an almost perfect life here in china and we'd certainly continue had we more options. we leave on wednesday. in a way, i'm glad i'm heading home and bringing all that i have built here in china. i miss singapore food, the clean air, and the largely non-smoking areas. i miss my friends and little nephews and can't wait to head back and give them all a big tight hug.

after this, i will start to pack up. already, someone's eyeing on my desk space.

Pop! Goes the question

a huge bouquet of flowers had arrived for me at about 5pm. it was accompanied with a postcard which joa had written a lovely message. in it, he said if i was willing to "have him", then would i go to my office lobby so he could ask me "the most important question".

i went down but i cdn't find him. so i went up again and just as i'd reached my desk, he'd rang me and said i'd just walked by him. he was at the door. we went to a secluded stairway where he got down on one knee and nervously posed the question.

he said the five roses in the bouquet represented 'No regrets'. my engagement ring was a gold ribbon lined with small diamonds. *smiles*

final week in beijing

it's hard to believe that my whole beijing escapade is coming to an end. sure, this isn't the most glamorous city to be. but at the end of it, i feel it like a second home.

the beginning of it hadn't been easy. there had been wild times and terribly exhausting times. i met some of the most incredible people and gained the most incredible insights to a culture that's so close to my roots yet so distant from my heart.

there are things i loathe about it here. lots of it. the bad service, the lousy food, and the fact that you smell cigarette smoke everywhere you go. but at the end of it, there's so much to see, learn, and assimilate out here. i love the vastness of china, the endless tales of its history, the kindred spirits of the people, and the whole new me that it's brought out.

i feel like a renewed person. i have a newfound self, a newfound love, a newfound career, and a newfound life. perhaps it's really time to return to singapore. i'm starting to miss family and familiar food sorely. this time when i return, i hope to be a better person. to be inculcated with the values and wisdom that this culture has instilled me with.

china is a wonderful country. it's beautiful and the people are amazing. only being an in-between chinese would make you realise this. thomas always lament about how the chinese never want to take pictures with him. instead, they'd rush for the typically blond-haired white man. thing is, mandy also told me that it's the same kind of excitement people would have taking pics with the ape in the zoo.

i'm sometimes bewildered when foreigners tell me how friendly the locals are. the truth is, chinese are extremely nationalistic and rascist in the way that they always only watch out for their own. and i tink that's commendable. if only singaporeans would think this way too instead of esteeming eurasians and overseas chinese who talk with a western accent. now if you ask me, that's despicably hypocritical.

lavender!

we walked by some lavenders when we walked between two subway stations. autumn has arrived in beijing and the cool wind and sun rays feels soft and soothing. we spent the weekend mostly browsing through rings at departmental stores and am now happy and proud to annouce that yes, we've found The One and The Pair. of cos it all didnt come without some arguing in front of pushy sales gals who were overly generous with their flatterings.

i'd always dreamt of a heart-shaped solitaire for an engagement ring and a pair of blue as sea sapphires set on platinum for wedding bands. but joa felt solitaires were boring and sapphire rings look too tacky. so in the end, we settled on a matt rose gold diamond band with chinese inspired design for our bands and he seletected an engagement ring that was a little more creative.

work this week will be monotonous as i embark on my final week. joa and i are really excited to head back. and we've even started to plan a simple wedding affair for 9 Nov, sun. it's my parents' wedding anniversary and it's always been a wish to be married on that day. so when i realised it falls on a sunday, i immediately claimed it. most of the nice hotels are fully booked so we're left with little choices. but mum and dad are really wonderful to help out with the inspections and bookings.

we're likely to do away with the holy matrimony and tea ceremony and just hold the ROM before the dinner/ lunch which mum prefers it to be a "family affair" that's cosy and meaningful. there's so many things to prepare and we're so pressed for time. atm, we've shortlisted Goodwood Park and Raffles Hotel. my parents are not keen on sentosa even tho both of us are. and they hope we'll have a traditional chinese fare. joa and i were talking about giving it a theme - like oriental-inspired theme. so everyone has to be dressed 'mandarin'. he even quipped about calling it 'My best friend's wedding' since we're kind-of marrying our best pal. cute.

anyway, anyone has any suggestions? i wish i cd invite a 3-man band for entertainment. but that'll be extra costs and i'm not sure. oh, and i was also tinking of my fantasty of having free-flow bubble tea. but that's just out-of-the-world funny and unglam. haha. any ideas?

10 weeks

i feel so bloated. and i know it's not 'it' and is all the junk that i've been stuffing my face with. nauseaness reassures me that everything is ok. meanwhile. i'm often tired, and have to take an afternoon nap.

also, i'm starting to miss singaporean food. wooh... and all the bubble tea i want. joa and i went shopping for an engagement ring yesterday. it's quite cheap in china. he's thinking of buying me this ring shaped in a ribbon bow. it's cute but i'm unsure if i want to deviate from the classic solitaire which in his words is "so common".

teddy bear of a boss

today is my team leader, brian's last day at HT. i tink i'm really fortunate to have met such a wonderful person. it's all thanks to him that i got this job in beijing. in fact i'll never forget that thursday afternoon when i received a call from him inviting me to the interview. i felt a sense of familiarity and comfort. at first i'd thought it was because he was malaysian but it turned out he's one of the best boss i've ever had.

in 2 weeks' time, it'll be our turn to leave beijing. joa is obviously v excited while i'm dreading the transition and the 'music' i have to face once i land in changi airport. but i'm anxiously waiting to return as i worry about the baby's condition. it seems i've facing a risk of 65%. i dun even know if flying is even safe. i feel like a worrywart already. i've to make joa avoid certain 'positions', and i'm suspending my jogging routine. i've not had much morning sickness since last week and that scares me.

overall, i'm eating too much and gaining the pounds. not good if you ask me. too early to be gaining that much. joa tries to stop me but give up when i swear i've no cravings but it's just that i'm really having the hunger pangs. i feel tired all the time. and i've sworn off chinese food. the spicy fumes sickens me and it just occured me i haven't had rice in almost 3 days.

i'm going to miss everything and everyone at HT. u know u get that feeling that everything around u appears foreign once u made ur mind to dislodge? i'm getting that strange, alien feeling now. like i'm misplaced or something. i dun want to pack. i'm too tired to pack. hopefully joa's enthusiasm will help cover my share.

goodbye brian, and good luck!

macdonald refused to give me sugar in my tea!

china has the worst macdonald services in the world! this morning, i ordered the discount set of a sausage mcmuffin and a coffee - only that i had coffee changed to tea and had to pay an addition 50mao for it, but nvm. and then, they had the nerve to refuse to give me sugar! and that was from the manager. so i asked to see her superior who was this fatty man who told me that sugar only comes with milk tea which is an additional 2kuai and i will get cream and 2 satchets of sugar. this doesnt make sense! but then again, i've been refused no more than 2 satchets of ketchups several times so i've given up on trying to make any sense to them. obviously, they didnt go to macdonald's university for training!

had to remove the last entry becos joa freaked out when he saw it. he has the impression that the whole world reads my blog and our unplanned pregnancy was nothing to be proud of. now that the idea is settling in, our parents have been informed and we've mapped out a plan, we're feeling a lot more optimistic.

i informed my HR yesterday and she said my coming to beijing had been a good thing afterall. that i'm not as sure yet. i mean, i'm still jittery about everything that's to come. i rang up my gynae in singapore to ask him if i shd continue my medication for pcos and he said i shd try to make a trip back to sg asap seeing it is a crucial trimester, esp for patients with pcos.

that afternoon, joa and i went to the hospital to get a first ultrasound scan to make sure 'it' was in the right place. while i was waiting in the room, the lady before me was having her scan so i looked into the monitor and heard the radiologist say she cd not find the heart. i got really nervous but was relieved when she said she located a heartbeat on mine. when i told joa this, he almost cried. he's an emotional wreck now. but he's been really, really sweet to me. making my side of the bed for me in the mornings, being really gentle and considerate and even braved a thunderstorm last nite to fetch me from work becos he wasn't sure if i had a brolly.

we're looking to make our return in early october altho dad is still not talking to me. i'm opting to wait it out here so our families can come to terms with it without having my belly to remind them. but joa is adament that going back is the best thing to do. he even came up with an excel sheet to weigh the pros and cons of us staying on for a year longer which resulted in a breakeven really. but anyway, i'm won over by the thought of better medical care and familiar food.

so i have to relook for a job, and face the music when i get back. but i'm really looking forward to kway chap, hor fun and all the bubble tea that i want. omg, and really, really good service!

mid-autumn weekend

after weeks of isolated weekends at home, i'm really looking forward to heading out this weekend and running wild. joa's ankle is lots better altho he still has to avoid sports of all sorts. work has eased off a little and i feel i really deserve the break this time. it's a long weekend this coming becos of mid-autumn festival. everyone in the company received a mini food hamper with imported goodies: a box of cereal, shandy, sparkling juice and a tin of butter cookies. joa will be delighted when i take it home tonight.

i haven't been feeling tip-top of late. my menses is late (again!), i feel bloated like a cow, and i'm terrified of chinese food. as i'm writing this, i'm feeling really nauseous. i'm not looking forward to lunch, can't think of what to eat, and feel sick in my stomach. i think i need to see a doctor again. but medical in C is really, really lousy. they charge sky high for medicine and the doctors can speak any eng and are not capable of answering my questions.