I’d just reminded Joa that if we’re in luck, we might have just five more weeks. Otherwise, it’d be sooner. The thought of being in a cold, sterile room with people poking sharp things between my legs while I endure hours of excruciating pain is freaking me out. I think about how I’ll be away from the comforts of my home, bed and family. But on the brighter note, at least I’ll be well underway to repossessing my body.

My legs are swollen beyond shape. I feel a tad self-conscious whenever I am out so these days I try to doll up a little bit more. Btw, I’ve a new hairdo. Back to basic straight. I hated it at first, even lost a night’s sleep over it. Joa tot that was funny. Said it was a weird thing to lose sleep about. Then I started getting used to it. I still dun love it. I just wish it’d grow faster.

We had wonderful shopping over the weekend. And I got some earrings, mascara and makeup. We got lucky because last week, Mum went shopping and rang me at work to tell me she was buying Little J a cot bed. So that was a substantial financial offload. How nice it is to earn your own keep. Although Joa was livid when I bought my third mascara, he couldn’t quite say anything besides the usual I-must-never-give-you-charge-of-my-money laments.

Then I saw many lovely clothes out there which jolted me to excitement about being out of pregnancy. They say the final month is the longest of all and I can so understand it now. My legs and back hurt. And I miss my weekly runs where I can feel the wind in my face and hair. I miss wearing heels and short tight skirts and can’t wait to learn rollerblading again. There’s just a thousand and one things I want to do but I’d first have to go through the throes of labour. Joa reminded me that I have only the serpent to blame for painful childbirth. That was supposed to be funny and making a whole lot of sense.

We watched Gran Torino. It was great. One of the more moving films I’ve caught in a long time. In fact I’d teared a little. My brother who hadn’t watched it had warned me that it was quite a violent show. It wasn’t. In fact it was just about an aged, lonely ex-soldier who needed a friend.

Someone hold my hand.