my perk-me-up. and Joa in the driver's seat. newbie driving with both hands. haha!
miércoles, 24 de junio de 2009
martes, 23 de junio de 2009
pre-bedtime mumblings
Joa got his driver's licence last Thursday and I'm both proud and relieved. Now that things are so much more convenient since I get to nurse Cookie in the car. He was also on half-day work today so we swung by TPY to get a NUK bottle (and of course, bubble tea!).
I've decided to trust the experts' recommendation and combine bottle and breast feeding - without myself present during bottle time. Also, I should take the opportunity and go on an afternoon shopping trip while leaving Cookie with Mum and the Bottle. Perhaps then I'll begin to see The Bottle in a more positive light.
Just for the record
We're getting a hang of Cookie now. Wake up call at 6am (darn it!), afternoon naps at 12pm, bedtime at 9pm (too early!), midnight feed at 2am (urgh!), and needing to soothe or feed at 4am (and if we're unlucky, every hour after!). He hates to be anywhere else but home; loves the wind in the garden; hates having his neck scrubbed; loves the sound of water running. His best source of comfort: his dad, of course. His favourite toys being the Winnie-The-Pooh mobile over his cotbed, the cow beanie, and Cookie Monster. His worst time of the day: tummy time.
Joa - great job as dad. Already bored of his new appointment as Infantry Officer and infatuated with Papaya Milk.
Me? I've regained about 70% of stamina for running - 4km at the track and 5km on the treadmill all under 40mins. My weight has reached a plateau for over almost two months now and I still have 7kg to shed. Still unable to fit into my bottoms but the gap is closing in. Breasts still huge as ever - hate it - and still having trouble with damned pump.
Appetite: irresistable to Koi Cafe and have odd cravings for Double Cheeseburger. In fact the cravings are so bad I think of having them both everyday.
Sleep: extremely tired. Most mornings I am awoken by Cookie whimpering about wanting to go for a walk in the garden. So I ignore him and bear with his incessant cries until I awake an hour or two later to find him fast asleep next to me.
Activity: Apart from quick running sessions and the brief drive-outs for bubble tea and other necessities, I'm mostly at home, watching the online videos and breastfeeding.
What I'm excited about: Dad's installing cable tv (finally!), weekly maccas treat, bubble tea, and the coming issue of Cleo. Weird since I've never credited any of those articles. But I'm really reading it for the fashion, beauty and medical infotainment.
What I miss especially: hanging out long hours with friends talking about everything and nothing.
I've decided to trust the experts' recommendation and combine bottle and breast feeding - without myself present during bottle time. Also, I should take the opportunity and go on an afternoon shopping trip while leaving Cookie with Mum and the Bottle. Perhaps then I'll begin to see The Bottle in a more positive light.
Just for the record
We're getting a hang of Cookie now. Wake up call at 6am (darn it!), afternoon naps at 12pm, bedtime at 9pm (too early!), midnight feed at 2am (urgh!), and needing to soothe or feed at 4am (and if we're unlucky, every hour after!). He hates to be anywhere else but home; loves the wind in the garden; hates having his neck scrubbed; loves the sound of water running. His best source of comfort: his dad, of course. His favourite toys being the Winnie-The-Pooh mobile over his cotbed, the cow beanie, and Cookie Monster. His worst time of the day: tummy time.
Joa - great job as dad. Already bored of his new appointment as Infantry Officer and infatuated with Papaya Milk.
Me? I've regained about 70% of stamina for running - 4km at the track and 5km on the treadmill all under 40mins. My weight has reached a plateau for over almost two months now and I still have 7kg to shed. Still unable to fit into my bottoms but the gap is closing in. Breasts still huge as ever - hate it - and still having trouble with damned pump.
Appetite: irresistable to Koi Cafe and have odd cravings for Double Cheeseburger. In fact the cravings are so bad I think of having them both everyday.
Sleep: extremely tired. Most mornings I am awoken by Cookie whimpering about wanting to go for a walk in the garden. So I ignore him and bear with his incessant cries until I awake an hour or two later to find him fast asleep next to me.
Activity: Apart from quick running sessions and the brief drive-outs for bubble tea and other necessities, I'm mostly at home, watching the online videos and breastfeeding.
What I'm excited about: Dad's installing cable tv (finally!), weekly maccas treat, bubble tea, and the coming issue of Cleo. Weird since I've never credited any of those articles. But I'm really reading it for the fashion, beauty and medical infotainment.
What I miss especially: hanging out long hours with friends talking about everything and nothing.
lunes, 22 de junio de 2009
taking special pride
Call me one of those neurotic mums obsessed with and believing that everyone out there has dubious intentions towards her own child because I've just turned into one of those.
I've been muddled with nightmares of weaning Cookie on the bottle and today, I've finally taken that bold step. It was a Medela teat that I'd just bought this afternoon, so I could afix it to the bottle and direct its entire, what-little contents. It wasn't one of those orthodontic, nature-mimicked ones. Just plan, ordinary, small-size teat. For a moment, Cookie seemed confused. Then he started suckling, too hard, at the alien thing. When he choked on the milk, I had to restrain from yanking it out of his mouth.
Mum was happily feeding him and telling me for the umpteenth time the benefits of having the milk pumped out. One of which - her favourite - was that we'd at least know if he was drinking enough. Obviously, Cookie had been overfed because it's been more than three hours since the last feed, an extension from his usual 2-hour routine.
I later spent the next two hours, trying to compensate that amount. Diligently pumping with the mechanical piece of plastic and fighting off resenting thoughts. I prayed and sought the balance. Despite swollen aerolas and bleeding nipples, I'm still 10ml short.
A simple, natural ritual such as bottle weaning my baby could turn me into such emotional wreck. I'm shocked at the transformation. When I look at him, I'd whisper about how his grandmother is gonna come between us. The crazy work of the hormones, not me.
I felt as if someone was tearing us apart. I felt I could not trust my own mother to take care of my child. But that's completely untrue. I've just gone a tad mad.
They say babies grow too fast. And in this instance, they start exploring life and the world forgetting you.
Hence the banner and the profile pic. I might as well indulge in this while I still can. When my baby is still a baby. Therefore, pardon me if i'm putting up too many pics of Cookie in fb and blogspot. I understand how irritating it feels because I was once irritated by new mothers who did that. But now that I am one, I finally understand why he's my pride and joy. And someday, when you are one too, you'll know.
I've been muddled with nightmares of weaning Cookie on the bottle and today, I've finally taken that bold step. It was a Medela teat that I'd just bought this afternoon, so I could afix it to the bottle and direct its entire, what-little contents. It wasn't one of those orthodontic, nature-mimicked ones. Just plan, ordinary, small-size teat. For a moment, Cookie seemed confused. Then he started suckling, too hard, at the alien thing. When he choked on the milk, I had to restrain from yanking it out of his mouth.
Mum was happily feeding him and telling me for the umpteenth time the benefits of having the milk pumped out. One of which - her favourite - was that we'd at least know if he was drinking enough. Obviously, Cookie had been overfed because it's been more than three hours since the last feed, an extension from his usual 2-hour routine.
I later spent the next two hours, trying to compensate that amount. Diligently pumping with the mechanical piece of plastic and fighting off resenting thoughts. I prayed and sought the balance. Despite swollen aerolas and bleeding nipples, I'm still 10ml short.
A simple, natural ritual such as bottle weaning my baby could turn me into such emotional wreck. I'm shocked at the transformation. When I look at him, I'd whisper about how his grandmother is gonna come between us. The crazy work of the hormones, not me.
I felt as if someone was tearing us apart. I felt I could not trust my own mother to take care of my child. But that's completely untrue. I've just gone a tad mad.
They say babies grow too fast. And in this instance, they start exploring life and the world forgetting you.
Hence the banner and the profile pic. I might as well indulge in this while I still can. When my baby is still a baby. Therefore, pardon me if i'm putting up too many pics of Cookie in fb and blogspot. I understand how irritating it feels because I was once irritated by new mothers who did that. But now that I am one, I finally understand why he's my pride and joy. And someday, when you are one too, you'll know.
domingo, 14 de junio de 2009
sábado, 13 de junio de 2009
some sort of social play
last night, we finally had our first 'social' dinner with friends. although it was just at J8, and we had to sit outside the restaurant where there was less air-con becos of the stroller; but still it was nice.
it's great to see my friends happily in love. i am reminded of those days where we'd meet at orchard, talking about this crush and that - comforting one another and wondering who's plight was worse. now, both of them are happily in love and our partners get along! now i wish they'd hurry and have kids so we can do playdates together.
it's great to see my friends happily in love. i am reminded of those days where we'd meet at orchard, talking about this crush and that - comforting one another and wondering who's plight was worse. now, both of them are happily in love and our partners get along! now i wish they'd hurry and have kids so we can do playdates together.
martes, 9 de junio de 2009
updates
my ears are much better today although they still leave stains on my pillows in the nights much to joa's disgust.
yesterday i made my conclusive trip to my gynae for the final checkup and pap smear. my doc calls me "the brave girl" and advised me not to "listen to the turkeys" about my self-doubts about breast-feeding. i love going to his clinic and hearing him banter about no-nonsense medical theories. there's always something new to learn.
we're coming on to the 7th week and Cookie can now coo instead of just plain wailing. he's also beginning to smile more and exhibit moods (best in the morning and dwindles to worst in the evenings). i'm also starting to get a hang of his nap times (usually at the most inconvenient hours), and his feeds.
as for me, i've finally reconciled the fact that motherhood means i'll have to sacrifice time to myself, shopping and social life. but funny how it's all starting to fall so easily. yesterday we were at the mall and while joa was occupied at the tcm clinic for his massage, it meant i had time alone to shop. but as i walked through my favourite labels and peered through the window at the massive sales, i somehow felt a greater urge to head to Kiddy Palace to check out breastpumping accessories instead.
and oh, we (finally) bought a baby sling. it's of a nice rich purple colour and i'm still getting a hang of it. i tried putting Cookie in it but he's still struggling. retaining still a bit of my sense for fashion, i find this a much trendier way rather than joa's which comprises of a car seat mounted atop an old hand-me-down stroller.
i'm becoming emotional about weaning the Cookie to a bottle. even tho it'll still be breastmilk, but for some reason i feel edgy at the thought that he might reject me after the bottle is introduced. joa said i'm nuts and that i'm missing the point of parenthood which is hope for our children to grow up independant and strong. it was a horrible reminder becos he's so adorably tiny now but alas, he's growing too fast!
i feel uneasy just having Cookie sit in his chair all day. at first, i'd thought having colourful toys and music overhead would help stimulate his senses. and now that it's all been done, he looks really bored and i fear he'd turn stupid just sitting there for hours on stretch.
should i read him some stories since i'm not a really 'fun' kind of mommy. joa's really good with him, i must say. there are times when Cookie is left alone with me that i can sense that he wants his dad more than me since i'm no fun at all. so that brings me back to the whole bottle-feeding issue. if Cookie decides he likes the bottle, then what's good left of me?
yesterday i made my conclusive trip to my gynae for the final checkup and pap smear. my doc calls me "the brave girl" and advised me not to "listen to the turkeys" about my self-doubts about breast-feeding. i love going to his clinic and hearing him banter about no-nonsense medical theories. there's always something new to learn.
we're coming on to the 7th week and Cookie can now coo instead of just plain wailing. he's also beginning to smile more and exhibit moods (best in the morning and dwindles to worst in the evenings). i'm also starting to get a hang of his nap times (usually at the most inconvenient hours), and his feeds.
as for me, i've finally reconciled the fact that motherhood means i'll have to sacrifice time to myself, shopping and social life. but funny how it's all starting to fall so easily. yesterday we were at the mall and while joa was occupied at the tcm clinic for his massage, it meant i had time alone to shop. but as i walked through my favourite labels and peered through the window at the massive sales, i somehow felt a greater urge to head to Kiddy Palace to check out breastpumping accessories instead.
and oh, we (finally) bought a baby sling. it's of a nice rich purple colour and i'm still getting a hang of it. i tried putting Cookie in it but he's still struggling. retaining still a bit of my sense for fashion, i find this a much trendier way rather than joa's which comprises of a car seat mounted atop an old hand-me-down stroller.
i'm becoming emotional about weaning the Cookie to a bottle. even tho it'll still be breastmilk, but for some reason i feel edgy at the thought that he might reject me after the bottle is introduced. joa said i'm nuts and that i'm missing the point of parenthood which is hope for our children to grow up independant and strong. it was a horrible reminder becos he's so adorably tiny now but alas, he's growing too fast!
i feel uneasy just having Cookie sit in his chair all day. at first, i'd thought having colourful toys and music overhead would help stimulate his senses. and now that it's all been done, he looks really bored and i fear he'd turn stupid just sitting there for hours on stretch.
should i read him some stories since i'm not a really 'fun' kind of mommy. joa's really good with him, i must say. there are times when Cookie is left alone with me that i can sense that he wants his dad more than me since i'm no fun at all. so that brings me back to the whole bottle-feeding issue. if Cookie decides he likes the bottle, then what's good left of me?
viernes, 5 de junio de 2009
a muffled world
i've gone into a temporary state of muffled deafness due to a bout of ear infection. it started more than a week ago but my clumsiness in taking proper care of it has made it worse. therefore, i'm not stuck in one of the worst discomfort ever - being (almost) deaf!
for a few days, i started feeling sad that i now hear a very distant form of my infant's cries. i have to be prompted more than once by joa whenever he wants to tell me something. i can't hear the TV so i have to rely on subtitles to help me understand what's going on. i realise i'm also speaking a tad louder just so i can hear myself.
i'm worried. worried that this might be a chronic affliction. i've still got an antiseptic drop from the GP and i hope this is not too late.
today, we attempted our first trip to Orchard with Little J and it was awful. Little J was restless the whole time wanting to be carried and i only had Z for help (she was great btw) till Joa went off for his driving lessons for 3 hours. in the end, we had to call of dinner with her new beau and head home in a cab only to land 2 very exhausting us and a very grouchy baby who has fallen into a deep slumber since over 4hours.
everywhere's on sale yet i cannot buy anything becos i'm too ashamed of my post-natal figure. breastfeeding was a pain as nurseries are never too private, convenient, and clean. but being around other mothers made me feel better about the throes of it. although i must say i did feel a little inadequate while they had their chubby babies while mine was scrawny as compared to theirs (tho theirs' much older).
i hope i can just wake up tomorrow morning and have my hearing restored. meanwhile i'm still thinking about that pair of clogs. i dun need it though i really love it.
for a few days, i started feeling sad that i now hear a very distant form of my infant's cries. i have to be prompted more than once by joa whenever he wants to tell me something. i can't hear the TV so i have to rely on subtitles to help me understand what's going on. i realise i'm also speaking a tad louder just so i can hear myself.
i'm worried. worried that this might be a chronic affliction. i've still got an antiseptic drop from the GP and i hope this is not too late.
today, we attempted our first trip to Orchard with Little J and it was awful. Little J was restless the whole time wanting to be carried and i only had Z for help (she was great btw) till Joa went off for his driving lessons for 3 hours. in the end, we had to call of dinner with her new beau and head home in a cab only to land 2 very exhausting us and a very grouchy baby who has fallen into a deep slumber since over 4hours.
everywhere's on sale yet i cannot buy anything becos i'm too ashamed of my post-natal figure. breastfeeding was a pain as nurseries are never too private, convenient, and clean. but being around other mothers made me feel better about the throes of it. although i must say i did feel a little inadequate while they had their chubby babies while mine was scrawny as compared to theirs (tho theirs' much older).
i hope i can just wake up tomorrow morning and have my hearing restored. meanwhile i'm still thinking about that pair of clogs. i dun need it though i really love it.
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