first counselling session

joa and i went for our first counselling session with Jon, the counsellor who saw me through insanity. i think it was a really fruitful time.

we had arrived some ten minutes early so we decided to take the time and list down the challenges that we face in our rs. him, fear of not being able to be a good husband/ dad; me, unwilling to let go of the past and insecurities of the future.

jon was a star and he guided us through understanding each other's behaviour, reaction and finally the various ways to resolve the challenges. the most important of all, jon made us realise that this wedding, although abrupt as it is, has indeed been part of the plan in our relationship. he also helped me to see why joa has chosen me as his life partner and helped joa understand why i sometimes question his love.

as we headed home, we both felt refreshed to embark on this new journey together. marriage is not just positive emotions and hectic wedding preparations. i think after today, i feel more assured that this is the path that i won't regret.

joa was saying he has a feeling our baby is a girl. i'm starting to think so too although i'm really not sure since the odds are the same.

yesterday we were at the bridal shop when the lady remarked aloud that my stomach had since grew "so big, so fast". god, i was dead embarrassed. so i said it might be all the milo and good food i've been feasting on. it's strange how i'm looking forward to the baby rather than the wedding. and i have to constantly remind myself to eat the less fattening food and move about more so i offset the pounds somehow.

i'm a bride-to-be that doesn't have to go on a strict diet and exercise to lose weight. i wonder if it's a pity or a bad thing. but it's official - i'm 12+ weeks pregnant and my tummy is starting to show (as per everyone's remark). oh god, not good for a wedding dress. i'd be 15 weeks by then!