first up: home-cooked meals

the new camera is real peachy. took some mean, peachy pix over the weekend but later realised there might be something wrong with the SD card when the cardreader on my notebook cd not detect it. the day before, a friend was also unable to open it on his notebook.

so since i dun have the latest pix with me atm, i thought i'd put up pics of our proud cooking. to be honest, we haven't been cooking at all for the last 3 weeks becos of our gym regimes after work. but i hope we'd resume cooking soon, esp after joa gets back from sg.

btw, these pix were taken with the old camera.

my favourite: joa cooked singapore-styled oyster omelette (without oysters), stirfried long beans with salted egg (a recipe we modified from bellagio restaurant) with white porridge.

not tv dinner but 'pps dinner': our dinner accompaniment of free online stream movies.
i cooked baked fish, steamed egg and stirfry spinach with mushrooms

my version of singapore 'bak-chor mee' but replaced egg noodles with chinese ramen (only one i cd get from the nearby supermarket). stewed the mushroom in vinegar (since our prev housemate left us with more than half a bottle), sugar and shoyu. made a hot pot of fishball soup with egg, and chinese lettuce. it was like 'xiaoguomian'. joa said it was yum.

new camera flashing away!

finally bought new CANON IXUS 80IS in camel gold after locating a genuine canon authorised dealer at chaoyangmen who had 5 manly looking women salesgirls aggressively pushing the sale. paid up SGD440 that came with a leather canon leather pouch and 4GB SD. then came home, looked up tis website of the IT market at zhonguancun and realised i cd have paid for only SGD360 but at the risk of it being a watergood, and not come without the added accessories.

i also realised a gd reason why i shd have bought it from singapore instead was so i cd have the user manual in english. anyway, i looked up for a pdf online.

was up at 8am and it hit me that tonight would be the last night together before joa leaves for sg for a week tmr. how serenely sweet he sleeps (if u disregard the snoring). nice cloudy weather today. i must remember to set my camera right.

more pix coming right up :))

a ghost spa resort

it was a retreat that we've been looking forward to. our first actually - to get away from the city and into the outskirts and spend days with a group of local friends (act, they were my colleagues and clients). what was most exciting was the duck feast at 全聚德, which is known for its 180-year old establishment since the Ming dynasty. we were urshered into a private room and had so much peking duck we cd puke. we were also given a certificate that had the serial number of the duck we ate. the duck feast was all about ducks: duck soup, fried duck, steamed duck liver and pate, deep fried duck heart, duck tongue in broth, stir fry duck innets, braised duck webbed feet, and of course, peking duck. both of us thought this was the best peking duck we've ever had (approx: SGD 60, and cut into 180 slices: incl. skin and meat)!


after the feast, we packed into my colleague's, indiana's, car, and drove on through the dusty roads for another hour to changping district. here we are, arrived in our suite. it was huge and had a bathroom equipped with a spa tub and two rocking chairs that was as huge as the room itself. joa was so happy. it was a good break from all his troubles. we checked in at 10pm, played jenga and mafia with the rest, had a game of pool and the both of us headed off to bed at 1.30am to check out the jacuzzi in our bathroom.

the jacuzzi was just a huge bathtub with steps where u can sit on. we turned on the tap and while the water was filling up, soaked our feet. half and hour later, the water level was just mid calve. we decided to heck it and just enjoy a shower with the enormous shower head. that was good enough.

we fell asleep only at 3am. the tv had bad reception but joa still managed to get engrossed in whatever program.

had another nightmare and woke up to joa snoring in the other bed. it was 7am and i managed more sleep until i heard joa fooling around in the bathroom. it was 9.22 am. there was no water and all i felt dried out from all the soft drinks from the night before. we lazed in bed a bit for chat, had a kit kat and decided to check out the surrounding areas. bad choice. it was burning hot, and we realised, this was a dead town and we were in a deserted resort that was only four-star in the room. we got to take this cute picture by the pond though. also checked out the run-down spa which didn't come cheap so it was a spa retreat without a spa. at least we got a footbath.

had xinjiang for lunch. disgustingly meaty and spicy. but joa had too much to eat. and everyone kept passing him the lamp legs because he really looked like he was enjoying it.

book review

i'd just finished reading South of the border, west of the sun by Haruki Murakami. it was an engaging read. sensual, tragic, foolhardy, and sometimes almost too cruel.

not quite sure if that's how most japanese authors write but i recall reading Kazuo Ishiguro's A Pale View of Hills it also ended without a conclusion and left out many characters' developments and it's quite frustrating.

the hero is hajime, and the story weaves through his life beginning from his childhood days where he meets polio-stricken shimamoto and the love of his life whom he never forgets. during his teens, he betrays his only girlfriend, izumi and later, when he's married to yukiko and is a father of two, reunites with shimamoto and has a passionate affair with her. he's just messed up.

but what i didn't understand was if the return of shimamoto and izumi were even real to speak. many times, the author tries to create eerie scenarios, descriptions and facts of the two characters that just seemed too un-human (like ghosts): shimamoto only appears only rainy nights. and izumi was described with "a face of void" and "children are afraid of her". and there are also disappearing acts: money, people, and things. strange.

parts of it i love: the sex bit and at some times, the deranged mind of the hajime. but what happened to him at the end is unknown. i'm not even sure if he'd died or that he'd started anew with his wife and family. i'm lost.

Bad time at Skull Camp

it had to be one of my greatest misfortune have attended an orientation camp held by the company for newbies. i literally had to drag myself all the way out to the distant hills and spend 26 miserable hours in a dirty old farmhouse.

okay, that was quite exaggerating but if u'd seen the 3 pix i put up, well, it's quite correct ain't it? but to give it some credit, i did have some amazing experiences all in all.

Day 1

we had arrived at 3 on friday afternoon at the campsite. it was surrounded by ugly hills and a muddy river. there was a small courtyard, a large communal area, several rooms with single beds joined together, separate pair of bathroom for men and women, kitchen and a little watermelon garden. there were chickens and an albino rabbit was locked up in a cage, its long body sprawled across and its head lying on its side looking like it was just waiting for death. i instantly knew it wasn't going to be easy.

the program started with several ice-breaking games and we got into our teams. the highlight was a jiaozi contest where each team were given ingredients to make jiaozi. the chinese were impressive. all of them knew how to make jiaozi from just a head of wombok and some flour. it had started to rain heavily and there had been a power failure and no water supply so no one washed their hands. i tried to help out as much as i could, fetching water and ensuring the candle didn't fall and set the table on fire. i did end up making 1 very nice dumpling (in my opinion). my team won. the jiaozi were disgusting. nathan, my american mentor at work had diarrhea.

that night we had a bbq feast. the food was horrible but the entertainment was fun. everyone smoked and god it was the first time i felt nauseous from inhaling all that smoke. because of the rain, many activities had to be cancelled so some of us took an early shower and by 11 pm, had retired for the night. it was hard to sleep. none of us cd sleep because not only did the sheets stink, it was dusty as well. plus i was trying hard to avoid skin contact with the girl next to me as she didnt shower because the WC was too dirty for her liking.

Day 2
we got up at 6 in the morning. it was drizzling lightly and a nice mist settled upon the courtyard. many of us didnt sleep. i slept enough, albeit badly. breakfast was some preserved vegetables and tofu with mantou. i took a corn mantou and skipped the rest of it. it was the worst breakfast i'd ever had and i regretted not bringing some biscuits and bread.

the training began at 8.30 am and went on till 1.30pm where we (finally) broke for lunch. sitting on an old stool in the stifling classroom cramped with 40 others (with the occassional smokers) was a torture. i secretly read a bit and kept looking at the time. lunch was just as bad. i shall not mention. but everyone ate with relish, even i stuffed myself with hot steamed rice, stewed chicken and carrots. then a girl asked me if i liked the food and i said i was really hungry and she said the food was crap but everyone was too famished to complain.

after lunch, we endured another 2 hours of presentation and finally at 3.30pm, was finally told to pack up. and that was obviously the grand moment. quickly, we grabbed our belongings, filed into the courtyard, took a final group photo and made our way to the bus. just before we left, we were given an assignment that had to be handed up by Tuesday and everyone was bitter about it.

i reached home at half past four to find joa and mika in the mid of a massive house clean-up. after a long hot shower, i sat on the couch and looked at my TV set and cd not believe i was back into civilisation again. i told joa all about the hardship i suffered at the camp and he laughed so hard. but only when i showed him pictures of the food, did he show some signs of sympathy. he's so bad.

anyway, we had a great weekend. planned out. in the evening, we set out for a relaxing dinner at houhai and desserts at nlgx. on sunday, we decided to skip church and watch city harvest online. that was a good choice because there had been a father's day drama play. had lunch at middle 8th, met tilly for a chat, did some chores, went to the gym, and then headed to wudaokou for tonkatsu dinner. we ended the night at this fab cafe that served amazing brownie where i also bought a teacup.

unforgettable moments:

1. i took my first shower with a female colleague. yes, full naked and sharing the same shower head. but dun think funny, we only showered, nothing else. and and the good thing is, i'm comfortable with that if i'd ever need to resort to such desperate attempts to take a decent shower again. i also changed before 5 other gals who were sharing my dorm. it's weird. i've nv even done this even when we'd to change for PE lessons in pri and sec sch.
2. i said "I LOVE YOU" to my big boss and he fished out an Agnes B ring, got on one knee and put the ring on my middle finger. Okay, it was a sabotage game but it was fun and he was every female colleague's fantasy. although i didnt show it but i felt proud and secretly gushed about it. he's really quite cute!
3. i got to experience a Chinese farmlife. it's all shit. but the best of all is, i pulled thru. all 26 hours.

torture camp

just got back from an orientation camp far out in huairou. terribly old, dirty and literally in the wild mountains. my team, iFun.

my first attempt at jiaozi. we had a jiaozi competition and my team won first prize.

the 'feast'.

feelings resolved

i kicked quite a fuss on tues nite and even though he felt i'd infringed his privacy by screening his emails, he still came and comforted me. we laid in bed and talked for about an hour with the lights turned off. nathan, my american mentor at work said something on our walk home (he lives on my street) that made me realise that even if i'd known all the unpleasant things that joa had kept from me, i'd still have made the same decision i did on that night at the beach.

we shared about spiritual revelations and visions from God. and on our walk to the gym, i felt our rs really ascended to the next level, like our communication and trust was up one more level. since then, he's been really sweet and i feel bad for being such a brat sometimes. like having him to coax me out of bed every morning and he having to admonish me for eating too much junk and 'dramatising' my life.

i don't know wat i'd do without him, seriously. he's going thru a rough patch at work and i'm dreading going for an overnight orientation camp tomorrow. then he's leaving for home for a week and i know i'm going to be so miserable without him.

nightmares

i've been plagued with nightmares of late. bad dreams of betrayal, rejection and hatred. it takes away everything that i have now and is everything that will shatter me all over again.

i'm unsure of its origin. he's given me all the assurance that i need to get over it. yet trusting is almost impossible. i wake up in sweat, my heart racing and overwhelming in paranoia and fears. so i pray to God, a prayer that's long due. a prayer that He's been waiting for. yet they continue to haunt me. like the unfortunate twin that didn't survive, it haunts me.

mika, our new flatmate from poland, lent me a new novel she bought. South of the border, west of the sun by Haruki Murakami. it's a delightful read. emotionally intense and as i read it, i read the mind of a criminal - a selfish, heartless man whom i feel almost too familiar with.

"But i didn't understand then. That I could hurt somebody so badly she would never recover. That a person can, just by living, damage another human being beyond repair."

i didn't understand then and i don't understand now. how someone could, just by living, hurt and damage another person beyond repair. most of all, i don't understand and i wonder if i'm beyond repair and beyond recovery. that the nightmares will continue to plague, that the distrust will continue to linger, and hopes continue to fade.

i beseech God to take these fears away from my heart. they weigh like a ton in my chest. i choke on it, i suffocate with it. it's drives me to the end of the world where i wish i can just fall off the edge into nothingness, into numbness. till i cannot feel anymore. where there's no love and there's no pain.

post-dated pix

me posing (eye-shut) for a shot in the hutong.

an attractive muffin bakery at oriental plaza @ wangfujing

chocolate pudding muffin. crisp on the outside, pudding is creamy and soft on the inside.
self-rated the best i've tried in BJ.

antagonistic

window washers outside my 21-f office

i've been going thru an anti-C phase all week. it's just the government, the rude people, the lack of facilities and the ex-xxx-tremmmmeee-ly (an understatement) poor customer service. it's like this. it's a whole different set of class and etiquette here. nevertheless, i may just be exaggerating and very biased because not all chinese are nasty.

it's like this: u queue up to get up the bus and this young guy in front of you sticks an arm out to prevent you from getting up the bus before him. then there is this time when after ordering an ice cream and realising that the girl has put ur's and ur friend's bill in one when you didnt have change and you ask her to separate the billing, she snarls at you and tell you in a strict tone to pay together. and those are just two examples out of the plenty i encounter everyday.

i chanced upon a program about a memorial for the earthquake and i cdn't help but feel it's all propaganda. and how the people are seriously, honestly foolhardy enough to believe that foregoing the chance to save your own child being trapped in a wreck just to save your student was a heroic act. and now that your own daughter is dead, that's okay because you've got thousands of 'daughters' now.

never in my life have i met such nationalistic people before. i'm not denying that singaporeans are selfish and materialistic, but it's just incomprehensible what these people believe is abundantly provided for them in this place.

hate shopping here. hate arguing with the puma salesman that a pair of women's running shorts did exist in the other outlet. hate having to bargain for everything from buying disposable forks to buying a laptop. and worst, having to feel so cheated after that.

but of course, it's not so bad here. good restaurants and a nice job makes up for it. and of course, there are (some) nice people too. i'm tired. i'm rambling. i'm off to bed.

updates

okay, that was a grotesque picture. but for a while i was actually fascinated to see a real cadaver of a shark. and better that it was cut up in pieces. i've never been one for sharks. i remember watching Jaws 1 and Jaws 2 on tv and it freaked my little heart out. the image of the guy in his trunks standing in a floating cage and the big white just rushing up on him and then the screen turns red. and the time i watched Open Waters, it kept me up all night all week.

work has been awfully quiet of late. there hasn't been much assignment since the last bmw pitch so i've been watching stream videos and surfing the net for silly things and also trying to read To Kill A Mockingbird which is quite a pain becos of the 'black english'. i've never been so bored that i ache.

Joa has been feeling low of late and disillusioned about the corporate world and china. he thinks he's not cut out for an office environment and i said who is. last night he asked me if i was excited about monday and i said nobody loves going to work unless they haven't got friends and live alone. poor him. i hope he gets it that society is never fun and u always get shit in the face anyway so he might as well get used to it.

we had a good weekend anyway. got ourselves a new flatmate, dominika who appeared with her suitcase fresh from poland on our doorstep at 9.30am on saturday. she's a jolly nice gal and she gave us a box of polish chocolate with marshmallows and i quite liked it.

we're taking her out to dinner at Middle 8th tonight. i'm gonna take some pictures.