coming back to living

it's over: the funeral, the shock, the heartache. i spent the last 2 weeks just pondering over life and death and going about my usual routine to assure myself that life ahead of me is still long and i'm certainly not going to lose any more loved ones at least for a while. i wrote a long letter to my godpa and attended the last night of the wake with a red ribbon tied around my waist. at least there's some form of closure.

on monday, Little Nonya too came to an end. i love the ending. i love how she sacrificed her love and missed out on some of the pleasures in life. i applaud the writer for his wisdom in this - it's true, life is not a bed of roses. drama should be a reflection of either reality or fantasy. and in this case, he's chosen the former. it's a right balance - afterall, how many of such heroines righteous and gorgeous as Yue Niang do we meet everyday? so i think critical people who feels the writer has let them down should just stop whining and do all they can to cherish what love they have and love to death. that'll be the lesson to learn from that.

joa and i celebrated our first Couple Anniversary two nights ago. we watched Bedtime Stories and then took a walk at 12 midnight from AMK to Serangoon Gardens - a reenactment of our first V-day date in 1999. it was a cute gesture and joa was delighted when i suggested it. but i regretted it ten mins on becos my hips and my thighs were starting to ache.

i've decided to take up a part time retail job. it took me a long time to decide becos the pay is minimal and i fear it might be boring ass. but on hindsight it'll get me paid while out of the house and pay for some of our expenses.

baby update: Little J is pushing 23 weeks and i'm gaining a hearty appetite (and lots of weight). so far, i'm enjoying pregnancy minus the fact that i look horrible in mirrors. i realise it's too soon before i know it. we calculated his zodiac and horoscope and it seems he's likely gonna be a 'double bull' - born in the year of the Ox under the Taurus Star. oh god, i pray against a bullish mule.